MAN JOKES

1 -How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!


2 -What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.



3 - Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a
waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of boobs in there..


4 - How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.


5 - Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care.


6 - What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she's been told twice already.


7 - If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what
have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long


8 - Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will
probably never be able to support you.


9 - Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand
closer to the kitchen sink.


10 - Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
pressure.


11 - If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at
the front door, who do you let in first ?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.


12 - Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex
drive by 90%..
It's called a Wedding Cake.


13 - Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.